How do you build confidence as a wedding planner? This is something I’ve heard a lot recently, especially since we’ve all been lockdown.
So many of us have a lack of confidence or self-belief.
Confidence is one of those things that most of us have struggled with at one time or another. Being under-prepared or faced with a new and challenging situation can rock our confidence and that’s perfectly normal.
For some it’s the thought of meeting new people or being put in a situation where they feel all eyes are on them.
For others it’s about a lack of knowledge or experience. The thing is, all the knowledge and experience in the world won’t make you successful unless you believe in your own abilities.
The most destructive thing you can do in your wedding business is not believe in yourself. You see when you don’t believe in you neither will others. Regardless of how well you know you stuff! If you don’t portray confidence and belief in your own abilities it will hurt your chances of success.
You have to believe in you. It’s a simple as that and if you don’t it will show.
The funny thing is, more often than not, we can all see other people’s talents very clearly even when we can’t see our own. Many times, others will see values in you that you haven’t even thought of. If they can see it why can’t we?
Think about the confident people you know. What is it about them that makes them stand out? I find that it’s self-belief that is most appealing about confidence.
When you have a belief in your ability, others believe in you too. When it comes to being in business, especially with a wedding business, it’s important that your clients feel they can trust you to deliver. If you don’t show them confidence they’ll doubt that you can do what you say you can.
For those of you whose confidence is taking a hit then try these 5 ideas.
Knowledge is a great way to boost self confidence. Don’t leave things to chance and just wing it. Where possible, do some research on your client before you meet them. Even if it is just a very basic and quick questionnaire you get them to fill in before you meet them. Make sure you include some personal questions in there so you ‘know’ something about them. Something you can talk about and open with the break the ice.
Focus on the positive
Write a list of what you like about yourself. Start with ten! Ask your family and friends what they value in you. Without a doubt you’ll be surprised by the answers because what other people see in you are things you never see in yourself.
Dress well and look the part (my Dad used to call it Putting on the Ritz)
Confident people usually look smart and wear clothes that make them feel good. And when you feel good you project confidence. Think back to a time when you looked in the mirror and liked what you saw. How did you feel?
We all have those fabulous moments when we look in the mirror and we like what we see. It doesn’t happen all the time but when it does it feels so good. If you look good you’ll feel good. It’s the same with hair and makeup. I might work from a home office but when I sit around in joggers and a T Shirt all day I never feel the part. Somehow when I do my hair, slap on some makeup and put on an outfit I love, I somehow exude confidence.
Good posture contributes to our feelings of confidence. Practice pulling your shoulders back. Don’t slouch and lower your eyes. Raising your head and looking people directly in the eye when you speak to them project confidence.
Do Something New
Step outside your comfort zone a little and take on a challenge. This could be anything. It might be signing up to a new gym class or starting a new hobby. It might even include being part of a Facebook Group and actually being active. (You can join ours right here)
Anything that pushes you slightly outside of your comfort zone. I do this with my students at the Wedding Academy. The first thing I get them to do is a live video intro in our private group. It’s very hard for most of them but it helps to build their confidence. Doing something new that doesn’t feel natural can be invigorating. Once you’ve done it you feel good about yourself.
So here’s something I’d like you to try. I want you to. Grab a paper and pen and write down the following:
- 5 things I’m good at
- A compliment I’ve received
- 5 qualities I’m most proud of
- 5 things that make me unique
- Something I value about myself
Once you’ve done this keep that piece of paper somewhere easy and within reach. Then every time your inner critic starts up talking in your ear (and it’s almost impossible to keep it quite) remind yourself that negative talk is irrational. It doesn’t tell the truth about you. Don’t dwell on it. Go back to your list of positives and move on.